May 2026 Edition
Saint Joseph's Parish Lottery Newsletter
Welcome to the May 2026 edition of the Saint Joseph's Parish Lottery Newsletter. Each month I provide you, the lottery members, with an update on winners, money raised, and any other relevant news.
Thank you for your continued support of the parish.
Second-best again
Last month you bought a record high number of lottery entries, and this month you bought only 2 fewer than last month, giving us another second-best ever result of 411 entries.
Your epic and sustained support is utterly astounding.
Yesterday's news
There were four lucky £100 winners in the draw for April which was drawn yesterday - Louise Martin, John Coyle, Mary Adair, and Maria Svitkova.
Many congratulations to them.
Sole trader
You'll be able to afford almost a quarter of the cost of a pair of Sebastian Sawe's running shoes if you score one of the four £100 prizes up for grabs in the May draw which will take place during the first week of June.
All payments to be received on or before the 31st of May please.
Taps spaff
For the second year in a row, the July draw will feature our 'Double Money' promotion - for every five new entries taken out during May or June we will add an extra £100 prize up to a maximum of EIGHT £100 PRIZES!
If you have been considering buying an additional entry then now is the perfect time. Please share the poster and help us boost the lottery for the year ahead.
Quidtastic lark
There were 411 paid entries in April.
The monthly profit for the parish after prizes was £1,665.
The lottery has raised a total of £6,600 in 2026.
The projected total profit for 2026 is currently £19,240.
Thank you to all members.
Almost award-winning
To equal our second-best month ever is yet another outstanding achievement. Lottery members like you continue to make an enormous contribution to the parish, month after month, year after year.
On behalf of Father Dan, the pastoral council, and myself, thank you all very much indeed.
Who's that guy?
Christopher McLaughlin is a Saint Joseph's parishioner, 90s Britpop survivor, apprentice Finn, recovering eBay addict, veteran young fogie, and trainee curmudgeon. He still runs the parish lottery, the parish eBulletin and website, and writes this newsletter. This seems likely to persist absent the arrival of someone competent. He is still occasionally accused of comedy, but these days is generally found not proven. He attends the 10:15am Mass on Sundays and is always happy to talk about the lottery; but be warned – his inner monologue escaped some years ago and now lives on the outside permanently.
Contact Information
If you have any questions, or require any help concerning the Saint Joseph's Parish Lottery please contact me, Chris McLaughlin, by email at lottery@stjosephclarkston.com or by telephone, SMS, or WhatsApp on +447957644546. The lottery page on the parish website has information on how the club works, and full instructions on how to join.