November 2025 Edition
Saint Joseph's Parish Lottery Newsletter
Welcome to the November 2025 edition of the Saint Joseph's Parish Lottery Newsletter. Each month I provide you, the lottery members, with an update on winners, money raised, and any other relevant news.
Thank you for your continued financial support of the parish.
Same old story
Last month you set a new all-time record for entries of 385 and quite incredibly - this month you have matched it!
Our sincerest thanks to those of you who have joined the lottery recently, and also to those of you who have persevered, month after month, year after year, to build the lottery up to what it has become today.
Break-in bad
The draw for October took place earlier today for four £100 prizes.
The lucky winners were Richard Rae, Martin Gault, Dorothy Kent, and Gavin Connor.
Many congratulations to them.
Licence to bill
You could afford to buy a landlord's licence to rent out your second home if you're one of the four £100 winners in the November draw which will take place during the first week of December.
All payments to be received on or before the 30th of November please, if that's not too taxing.
Hark! The herald angels' bling
As in previous years there will be a special £1,000 prize fund in December, with ten £100 prizes available rather than the usual four. This is a great time to consider taking out an additional entry, or asking a family member or friend to join. You can also buy a membership as a Christmas gift.
Historically, this time of year has been incredibly important in growing the lottery.
Flockin' around the Christmas spree
Forget socks. Forget scented candles. This year, give the gift of delusional optimism! A Saint Joseph's Parish Lottery entry is the perfect festive gamble - it says, 'I really care about you…but not enough to spend more than £60.' It's a tiny slip of hope wrapped in glittering possibility.
So go ahead - spread some cheer, stir some dreams, and maybe spark a family feud over shared winnings. It's the season of miracles, after all.
Blast of the boutique wins
There were 385 paid entries in October.
The monthly profit for the parish after prizes was £1,525.
The lottery has raised a total of £14,955 in 2025.
The projected total profit for 2025 is currently £17,405.
Thank you to all members.
Dexter or sinister?
This month the Saint Joseph Parish Lottery will break the record for its most successful year ever, and there is still another month left to go after that! Your monthly proven generosity has made a massive positive impact on the finances of the parish.
On behalf of Father Dan, the pastoral council, and myself, thank you all very much indeed.
Who's that guy?
Christopher McLaughlin is a Saint Joseph's parishioner, 90s Britpop survivor, apprentice Finn, recovering eBay addict, veteran young fogie, and trainee curmudgeon. He still runs the parish lottery, the parish eBulletin and website, and writes this newsletter. This seems likely to persist absent the arrival of someone competent. He is still occasionally accused of comedy, but these days is generally found not proven. He attends the 10:15am Mass on Sundays and is always happy to talk about the lottery; but be warned – his inner monologue escaped some years ago and now lives on the outside permanently.
Contact Information
If you have any questions, or require any help concerning the Saint Joseph's Parish Lottery please contact me, Chris McLaughlin, by email at lottery@stjosephclarkston.com or by telephone, text, or WhatsApp on 07957644546.