October 2025 Edition
Saint Joseph's Parish Lottery Newsletter
Welcome to the October 2025 edition of the Saint Joseph's Parish Lottery Newsletter. Each month I provide you, the lottery members, with an update on winners, money raised, and any other relevant news.
Thank you for your continued financial support of the parish.
Movin' on up
For the seventh month out of nine so far this year you have bought a record number of parish lottery entries - up four from last month to a never-before-reached total of 385! This is also the thirty-fifth month out of forty-five since the parish lottery was relaunched when you have set a new record. This is even more impressive when you consider that two entries were withdrawn this month.
Many, many, thanks to those of you playing for the first time this month, as well as those of you who have helped set so many records before.
Mince of darkness
The draw for September took place earlier today for four £100 prizes.
The lucky winners were Agnes Calpin, John McLaughlin, Claire Sweeney, and Maria McDermid.
Many congratulations to them.
Never ever say never
You could land a nice wee Brucie bonus just in time to celebrate All Saints if you are one of the four £100 winners in the October draw which will take place during the first week of November.
All payments to be received on or before the 31st of October please.
Compulsory ID
The parish lottery was rebooted in 2022, but I originally took over the management of it in 2013. Many of the records which date from that time are incomplete or have become inaccurate as members have moved home, changed their email address, changed their telephone number, etc. This can make things very tricky for me administratively and I currently have hundreds of pounds of unclaimed prizes from occasions when I have been unable to contact lottery winners.
All members are politely reminded to register their contact information on the parish website and keep it up to date with any changes.
If you know any lottery members who don't get this email please ask them to register and subscribe to this email too.
Pushed comically and the pun-chance quid
There were 385 paid entries in September.
The monthly profit for the parish after prizes was £1,525.
The lottery has raised a total of £13,430 in 2025.
The projected total profit for 2025 is currently £17,405.
Thank you to all members.
One million dollars!
Well ok not quite a million - but still more than £54,000 since the parish lottery was rebooted at the beginning of 2022. Every single penny of that total has come from your loyal payments each month, and has gone towards first repaying the parish debt, and then to the maintenance of the building and grounds - especially the recent building work on the perimeter walls.
On behalf of Father Dan, the pastoral council, and myself, thank you all very much indeed.
Who's that guy?
Christopher McLaughlin is a Saint Joseph's parishioner, 90s Britpop survivor, apprentice Finn, recovering eBay addict, veteran young fogie, and trainee curmudgeon. He still runs the parish lottery, the parish eBulletin and website, and writes this newsletter. This seems likely to persist absent the arrival of someone competent. He is still occasionally accused of comedy, but these days is generally found not proven. He attends the 10:15am Mass on Sundays and is always happy to talk about the lottery; but be warned – his inner monologue escaped some years ago and now lives on the outside permanently.
Contact Information
If you have any questions, or require any help concerning the Saint Joseph's Parish Lottery please contact me, Chris McLaughlin, by email at lottery@stjosephclarkston.com or by telephone, text, or WhatsApp on 07957644546.